Tom's Restaurant

I dropped the kids off at school at 8 and the household sale around the corner wasn't open until 8:30. Might as well check out Tom's Restaurant in the plaza on the corner of Hudson and East Ridge.

I was pleasantly surprised that this storefront diner had some older fixtures - fabulous yellow counter, chrome stools, and booths that seemed oddly small compared to the amount of space between them and the counter. It was hard to imagine two grown-ups sitting comfortably side by side in these booths, but imagining them doing a tango in the middle of Tom's seemed reasonable. As it was just me, just sitting and eating, the booth size was just fine.

I didn't notice a breakfast sandwich on the menu so I asked if they made one. They did. I asked what my bread options were. The waitress listed the usual: hard roll, bagel, English muffin, or toast. Then she added: "The hard roll is the best." I held my tongue and told her I was more in the mood for a bagel. She asked how I wanted the egg and I told her over easy. She looked at me as though I asked her to hold the bagel between her knees.
"It's going to be messy."
"You've got napkins?" I smiled.
"No."
"I guess I'll just use my shirt."
She hinted a smile and then headed back behind the counter and gave the order to the cook. I could hear him respond: "As a sandwich?!"
"As a sandwich."

A moment later she swooped by my booth and put a short stack of napkins on the table.

I looked around admiring the sparseness but not charmlessness of the place. Clean and tidy except for the cascade of lottery scratch-offs between the soda machine and kitchen.

And then my food arrived. Half a platter of home fries and two very long, crisp strips of bacon leapt out at me, then I noticed the bit of green on the plate: Pickles. How jolly! I took it as a nod to spring and started to put the sandwich together. The outside of the bagel was oddly matte which made me question if it had ever met water but when I took a bite it wasn't the usual soft breadel; it had the chewiness of a real bagel and was well suited to a sandwich. And then a bit of yolk oozed out onto my finger. I imagined the staff peering from behind the counter waiting to see this very thing but I didn't turn around to check. I picked up a napkin and wiped my finger off and took another bite. No more oozing. The rest of the egg was firmer and was not the mess that was anticipated.

The waitress came back to ask how this bizarre order was. "Just perfect," I said.

The bacon was crisp and delicious, the egg wasn't overdone, and the bagel exceeded my expectations. The home fries were pretty good and oh so plentiful. As with the Avenue Diner, this ended up being over ten bucks with the potatoes and iced tea. Maybe next time I bring a dance partner to split the home fries with.

Tom's Restaurant
740 East Ridge Road, 14621
Sandwich Price: $4.95
Rating: Better than expected

The Avenue Diner

It was a lovely spring morning of errands and garage sales and an intense need for breakfast. I found myself near Monroe Ave and thought about the egg sandwich options nearby. Mark's Texas Hots is a late-night staple and that got me reminiscing about Gitsis further down the street. Well, reminisce may sound too fond; I remembered a few drunken visits there eating basic greasy-spoon fare in the wee hours surrounded by an incredible assortment of post-bar, post-club, post-prom revelers. While the people watching was great, the greasy, heavy atmosphere was not. I'm guessing they closed in 2013 after a shooting incident was the last straw in dealing with drunken after-hours crowds. In its place came The Avenue Diner so I decided to see what, if anything, had changed.

The whole place has been redone - clean, generic diner complete with cheery, non-descript art. New booths, benches, chairs and tables erased the dingy after hours feel of Gitsis. The sun shining in the windows didn't hurt, either. Sitting in my booth I had the odd sensation of being an out-of-towner, having breakfast in the familiar but foreign booth of any diner in any downtown.

The one listed breakfast sandwich was fried egg, ham, and cheese on a grilled hard roll.  I could have gotten it on a bagel or toast but I didn't feel like getting a breadel and hadn't had a hard roll in a while so I stuck with their suggestion. I hadn't really spoken to anyone yet so I'm pretty sure my very sweet and friendly waitress thought I was a little special.
"Can I get that egg a little sunny, a little runny?"
"You don't want it flipped?"
"No, flipped is fine, but still runny."
She raised an eyebrow, "You mean over-easy?"
"Ah yes, of course. I forgot about that one." I added some home fries and a tea and watched the early morning Monroe Avenue traffic for a short while.

The sandwich and heaping pile of potatoes arrived and I dug in. Home fries were good, crispy on top and bottom from the grill with occasional bits of crispy onion. Then I picked up the sandwich. It was hefty! A lot of ham, and although only one egg, it was quite full. I think you know what happens next...this was all too much for the Rochester hard roll to handle. A chunk of white fell out of one side, yolk oozed out the other onto the plate, and the roll smushed down to nothing. It tasted fine, it's just that the disappearing bread makes it a nuisance to eat; Half eaten like a sandwich, the other half with a fork off the plate.

I was full, the waitstaff was exceptionally friendly, the atmosphere was pleasant. My only real (new) complaint is that with home fries and an iced tea, this breakfast ended up costing $9, cutting into my garage sale singles.

The Avenue Diner
Sandwich cost: $3.35
Rating: Think of "average" as a compliment and there you have it.

Mr Beenz Diner

I had to drive out to Gates a few times this winter and I noticed Mr. Beenz on the corner of Buffalo Road and Marway Circle. On one of my early morning trips I stopped in.

It was almost empty around 9:30 and I took a seat at the counter in the back. I ordered bacon, egg, and cheese on a hard roll, because I figure if you keep rolling the dice your number has to come up eventually, right? Right?!

I took a look around as my sandwich was being made: fairly typical suburban plaza diner: not a lot of character but it was clean and didn't have too much American flag decor so that's a plus.

 The sandwich arrived and the hard roll looked like the Kaiser I know and love, but alas, it was on the softer side. Actually, it was on the sweet side, too, like a potato roll, which complimented the very salty cheese and bacon. Ordered the egg over easy and it was a runny mess which was fine, though a sturdier roll would have absorbed some of that. Bacon was crispy and delicious.

Mr. Beenz Diner
1941 Buffalo Road, 14624
Sandwich cost: $4.49
Rating: Par for the course, bonus points for taking a chance with the roll

Busy Bee

I always passed the Busy Bee on my way to Rochester Art Supply and other points west and I was never 100 percent sure it was still open despite the jaunty awning sign. It was a quiet December morning when I finally made it into the Busy Bee and found it to be not so busy, but it was indeed open.

There were a couple of people in one of the booths, but otherwise the only activity was from the cook cleaning the grill, the waitress wiping down surfaces, and the ancient chrome coffee maker wrestling with itself. "Serving downtown since 1958," but last (partially) updated in the '70s the Busy Bee is a feast for the senses! A lot of steel and chrome in the kitchen, vintage counters and stools, and the dining area lined with booths. Looking up from the booths the walls are faux half-timber/plaster giving the place a more ale house feel than diner. This was now two months ago so many details have escaped me, but mostly I remember it feeling well-worn but maintained and cozy for it.

I was blown away by the first sandwich option: Fried egg and cheese on an English Muffin for, get this, 92 cents!! I can only guess that this offering is to help out the area panhandlers with a hot breakfast for a dollar. Or it could just be that all their prices are ridiculously fair. Either way, it's hard not to feel good about a cheap diner breakfast.

I opted for the second sandwich option and decided not to go through the bread rigamarole with the waitress and just get the hard roll. I have finally made peace with the Rochester hard roll: It tastes fine, I even like them, but I still contend they don't hold up very well in a breakfast sandwich. For $2.70 I am not going to argue. I ordered one with bacon and home-fries to go.

A couple minutes of taking in the yellow ochre, brown, and chrome my food was bagged up and ready to go. I got to my office and dug in: Fried egg a little hard but not overdone, bacon was crispy, cheese appropriately melty and salty. That's a breakfast sandwich. Home fries were good, though were a little starchy slimy. Salt, pepper, and ketchup are an easy fix.

Busy Bee Restaurant
124 Main Street West, 14614
Sandwich cost: $2.70
Rating: A classic Rochester breakfast sandwich

Breakfast Sandwich Loose Ends

This fall has been exceptionally busy with kids and work and I'll catch up on breakfast sandwich reviews soon, but there are a few loose ends I've been meaning to gather so let's do that now...

Above are some water rolls I've been trying to perfect. I've never been great at yeast breads but I recently discovered quick-rise yeast and my life hasn't been the same since. You practically watch the dough rise in front of your eyes! It's pretty satisfying. The water rolls have a crispy outside and firm yet spongey inside which makes for a damn fine egg sandwich, if I do say so myself.

In case you didn't see this, CITY Paper did a short piece on the best egg sandwiches in town. I'm not saying they copied me, but I am going to say that I had been reviewing egg sandwiches for eight months prior to this article and Rochester is a pretty small town. It's entirely possible he didn't copy the idea; I mean, he's a food writer and egg sandwiches are food. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but it's probably just a fluke, a coincidence, synchronicity. But thanks.

I've been referring to the Rochester hard roll as the "Petrillo's Roll" but while discussing egg sandwiches on the west side of town someone tipped me off that restaurants are probably supplied by DiPaolo's on N. Plymouth (This makes a lot more sense of my visit to the Red Front, that's for sure!) Interestingly, DiPaolo's doesn't call it a hard roll but simply a "twist" and offers it as "...the best cheeseburger bun." This may not sound significant, but to me it's the difference between involuntary manslaughter and premeditated murder. Or, you know, being delusional or knowing what a hamburger bun is. So, the bakery knows it's a bun, how do I convince all the diner owners in Rochester of this?

Speaking of paradigm shifts, there was this Kickstarter campaign to help raise the standard of egg sandwiches in midtown Manhattan. The plan was to distribute pamphlets to restaurants that outline the basic template of a solid breakfast sandwich. The project more than doubled its goal of $315 and I contacted JoeyScoops to see how the implementation was going. He decided that giving leaflets out may not work and that "the real way to do it" would be to give "Seals of Approval" to all the best sandwiches. Presumably he means a sign or sticker for the restaurant to display and not just some random blog. Cuz that would just be silly.

Jines Restaurant

Maybe it's just my recent binge re-visiting of the Sopranos, but Jines' radio tagline "Sooner or later everybody dines at Jines" sounds more like a threat than a catchphrase to me, or at best a resignation that there are only so many places to eat in a small town. No matter how you interpret it, it's true. On this chilly but sunny morning I made my way over to Park Ave to get strength for grading sketchbooks.

It was a little after eight and moderately busy as I stepped up to the front counter and took a look at the menu. I didn't notice a breakfast sandwich section or even one listed among the regular breakfast items but on the well-worn specials page I found the Sandwich Special: "one egg, cheese, and your choice of bacon or ham served on a croissant." A croissant? Sure, why not! I started my order and the hostess opened up her central command computer to enter it:
"How do you want your egg?"
Presented with choices I realized how sleepy I still was. "Fried!"
"Fried. Over hard?"
"Uhhhh...no. Not over hard."
"Just fried?"
"Wait, no, soft. I mean easy. Runny is good."
She smiled and repeated: "Runny is good."

I thought the hard part was over but then we got to the cheese. "Uhhhhhhmerican," but as soon as she hit the button on her terminal I started an elaborate thought process about croissants and what cheese goes best: Do they have brie? Is that too cliche? Is that too delicious? Have I ever had brie with bacon? Is that going to send me into cardiac arrest? I asked her for the cheese options. There were a bunch but the ones I remember were American, Swiss, crumbly blue, and our mutual mispronunciation of Gruyere. Even slurred and sleepy that sounded like it would be good on a croissant. "That's like a hard Swiss, yes?" She checked with someone behind her. "Yes, like a hard Swiss." After all this I decided to keep to my usual diner routine and get American. At this point she had every right to be annoyed but thankfully seemed entertained by this whole process. I appreciate that.

Lastly: meat. Although I haven't reviewed a sandwich here with ham on it, it's a pretty great salt delivery system and I have it all the time. Ham and croissant seemed like the obvious choice. And some home fries. She hit send and I took a seat to wait.

A few minutes of playing on my phone and I remembered to go take a picture of the menu so I'd remember how much it was and just as I snapped it the hostess walked out with my bag. She looked at me askew. "I need to remember what I ordered," I sheepishly offered in the hope that it was vague enough that she would leave it alone.
"Oh, you're getting this for someone else," she concluded. She had been so helpful up 'til now I couldn't let it go.
"No, the jig is up, I'm going to review this."
"Oh! In that case, enjoy it!" We smiled and I headed out the door. Quite possibly the most pleasant breakfast sandwich ordering exchange ever.

I got home and took a look in the giant take-out container: Top of the croissant offset to showcase the cheese and ham, a little garnish for color, and some golden, delicious looking home fries. I dug in. Oh man, the struggle to make decisions, converse, and get home were worth it: buttery bread alongside melted cheese, slightly chewy sweet/salty ham, and an egg that was not too hard. I was hungry and kept eating until I got to the yolk which exploded all over my hand. And then I kept eating. I was very hungry and it was really good. I finished the sandwich quickly but before disappointment could set in I hit the home fries: crispy edges, seasoned to perfection. This was a great breakfast, so much so I have written all this instead of grading sketchbooks. Oops.

Jines Restaurant
Sandwich cost: $3.95
Rating: It's a really delicious egg sandwich

Pub Fair Gratitude

No, there weren't any egg sandwiches to be had at the second annual VSW Pub Fair (well, except for the ones that Christine made for Tate and I - Thank you!!) but there were scones at the EAT table, hot beef sandwiches and beer at the front desk, amazing food from The Bento Box, and lots and lots of books. And Writers And Books had a poet on hand to craft you a poem after a brief conversation; Charlie and I talked about egg sandwiches, how grateful I am when someone makes me one, and how I like my eggs. I payed $3 and he started typing. This is damn near perfect (the only exception being coffee instead of tea).

I'd like to thank everyone who gave their time to help make Pub Fair possible: the sponsors and vendors who filled the auditorium and made it worthwhile, the students and volunteers who kept it running, the hundreds of attendees who showed their support for independent publishing, and to Charlie for the poem. For these people I am grateful.